


All's Fair in Love and Carnival Games

by GhostOfDorothyStreet



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Carnival Games, Fluff, Jealousy, M/M, Oversized stuffed animals, set in some vague timeline where Oswald is still Mayor and Isabella never happened
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-27
Updated: 2017-09-27
Packaged: 2019-01-06 05:07:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12204474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GhostOfDorothyStreet/pseuds/GhostOfDorothyStreet
Summary: Under normal circumstances, Ed got along perfectly well with Zsasz. The man had some odd habits, but he was surprisingly personable and remarkably open minded. However there were a handful of Zsasz’s habits that got on his last nerve.Flirting with Ed’s boyfriend for instance.





	All's Fair in Love and Carnival Games

As mayoral engagements went, this one wasn’t exactly the worst that Ed had ever been obliged to attend. Attending the opening night of a travelling carnival for an extended photo op and a bit of fluff piece rhetoric about how such events boost the local economy. 

It was certainly more lively than most of the events they were required to attend - the throbbing bass of pop music, red and orange hued lights blinking and flashing, the sweet and savoury smells of various street foods - but it was something of an organisational nightmare. Given the size of both the venue and the crowds there were a myriad of things that could go wrong, the risk assessment form alone filled a whole ring binder…

But eventually he’d had to take Oswald’s advice and stop worrying about it - the staff were after all grown adults who could by and large be trusted to look after themselves at a carnival.

Besides, the setting had the added bonus of being one of the few places where the more eccentric members of Oswald’s security detail blended right in. 

Victor Zsasz for example.

Under normal circumstances, Ed got along perfectly well with Zsasz. The man had some odd habits, but he was surprisingly personable and remarkably open minded. However there were a handful of Zsasz’s habits that got on his last nerve.

Flirting with Ed’s boyfriend for instance.

Oswald had told him not to worry about it, that he and Zsasz had known each other for a long time and that was just how he  _was_  with Oswald. How he’d always been. Ed wasn’t entirely sure how that was meant to be reassuring.

The final straw came that very night, when Zsasz approached the pair of them wielding a small pink unicorn.

“Gotcha a present, little bird.”

He handed Oswald the small plush toy with a bright grin and an intense stare, clasping their hands together for a fraction too long as he handed it over. Oswald looked a tad flustered as he thanked him, though appeared to be satisfied with the explanation that Zsasz had won it for him at one of the shooting games. 

To Ed’s mind that made things even worse than if Zsasz had just seen a pink stuffed unicorn (of all things) and decided that Oswald had to have it. Everything Ed knew about romance dictated that a person should not win prizes at carnival games for other people’s partners. The whole thing brought out a weirdly territorial impulse in him, and he resolved to find some way to make his feelings about the matter known.

He didn’t have to look for long. 

In addition to regular prizes, many of the games offered tokens as prizes, which could be collected and exchanged for bigger or more expensive items, which were displayed on a nine foot tall ‘prize wall’. On the top tier of the prize wall, between a scooter and an off brand mp3 player, was an enormous, fluffy, plush penguin. A  _purple_  one no less, with oversized sparkly eyes and cartoonishly adorable proportions that didn’t really match any species Ed had ever encountered. 

Tacky? Possibly. 

Something either of them would likely keep in the house for long? Probably not.

Suitably obvious and conspicuous for making a point to Zsasz about which of them was Oswald’s boyfriend?

Absolutely.

… 

Ed reasoned with himself that it wasn’t strictly speaking cheating if the game was already rigged. 

He had spent twenty minutes lingering near an old fashioned corn dog stand, observing people attempting to win prizes at one of the claw games, with very little success. Inside the glass case were a variety of low value prizes, mid sized poor quality stuffed animals and the like, but interspersed with these were a handful of bags of prize tokens, labeled on the outside with their values. Anyone who made a play for the cheaper prizes stood a reasonable chance. Anyone who tried for the more valuable token bags wound up disappointed. 

What wasn’t terribly obvious, unless like Ed, you observed from a short distance and paid close attention to the claw grip itself, was the fact that although at rest the claw’s talons overlapped, once activated something in the programming prevented it from closing tightly enough to grip the smaller items. 

An easy enough fix. 

… 

Half an hour or so later found Ed crouched behind the machine, pouch of ill gotten gains sat on the ground by his knee, attempting to undo the modifications he had done to the programming. The carnival still had its money to make after all. 

He was in the process of finishing up when a familiar voice spoke up behind him. 

“Ed?” 

 Ed nearly cracked the back of his head on the edge of the maintenance hatch as he whirled around. Oswald was standing over him, Zsasz’s present tucked under one arm, a pink cloud of cotton candy on a stick in his other hand, and a bemused expression on his face. 

 “I’ve been looking everywhere for you. Gabe said you took off with an  _‘I’m gonna do something nuts’_ look on your face. His words.” He took a bite of his cotton candy, licking a wisp of pink sugar off his bottom lip in a deeply distracting manner. “What are you  _doing_?” 

Ed blinked up at his boyfriend, feeling rather like a kid who’d been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. 

“I… I buy what money can’t, but have no place in the bank.”

Oswald raised an eyebrow in what Ed recognised as his ‘kindly get to the point, Ed’ look. Ed picked up the bag of tokens and held it aloft.

“You broke into a claw machine to steal prize tokens?” 

“Technically I broke into a claw machine to make it possible to win prize tokens. Slight difference but given the evidence I can see why you thought that…" 

The ‘get to the point’ look hadn't faded. Ed sighed, resigned to his fate. 

“I wanted to get you the giant, scientifically inaccurate stuffed penguin. Because I’m your boyfriend and if anyone’s going to win ridiculous carnival game prizes for you it should be me.” 

Oswald pinched the bridge of his nose and huffed out an exasperated breath.

 “Ed, dearest, you do realise Zsasz gave prizes from the shooting gallery to a lot of people, don’t you? Shooting things is how he spends almost all of his time, both in and out of work. He practically cleared out the stall.” 

Ed looked down sheepishly. “I hadn’t considered that.” 

Oswald rolled his eyes and crouched down to Ed’s level. “For a very intelligent man you’re an idiot sometimes.” He pulled Ed in for a quick kiss and deftly plucked the token bag from his hand. “Come on, let’s go claim that prize before I have to explain to security why my chief of staff is tampering with their equipment.”

Ed frowned, puzzled.

“You still want the giant bird thing?”

“Of course,” said Oswald, tipping Ed a little wink, “You stole them fair and square.”

Before he could protest, Ed found himself dragged off in the direction of the prize wall.

 … 

Up close the thing was even more impractically massive than it had looked hanging up. If it had had human legs rather than little fuzzy orange bird feet then both ‘Penguins’ would have been roughly the same size. 

As if to prove the point, Oswald wrapped his arms around its middle from behind and hooked his chin over its shoulder. 

“I have to admit, it is rather cute.” 

“Not as cute as the real thing.” 

“Do you think flattery will make me forget how ridiculous you were earlier?” 

“I’m not expecting anything, but, I live in hope.” 

Oswald chuckled and leaned in to kiss Ed, the stuffed penguin getting squished between their bodies. 

“Are we seriously going to take this thing home?” 

“Of course we are. My boyfriend won it for me.”

**Author's Note:**

> Another one of my unposted ficlets from March's round of Nygmobblepot Week. Day Two - Fluff


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